Surviving Summer When You Live on the Surface of the Sun
I learned something new about myself this year. I HATE summer.
I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!
Now don’t get me wrong, summer fashion is still my favorite thing in the world. Crazy colors and prints and incredibly short shorts over bathing suits are basically my core principles. Also summer movies and barbeques, they can stay too, but the weather? The weather has to go!
You see, when you’re in school you welcome summer because even if it’s hot that doesn’t matter. You still get to wake up late and go to bed late and nobody expects you to remember anything for a test or write a paper about how the pilgrims affect your life today. You’re free and it’s awesome! It doesn’t matter if you stay inside all day, you probably had a lot of internet to catch up on anyway!
But this year, my year off from school I had nothing to look forward to really, nothing to catch up on. I could already sleep in late and go to bed whenever I wanted and the internet was basically my job. That’s why summer didn’t come with a bang this year (unless you count the fact that I mentally punched the television every time they mentioned the weather). Instead summer came with moans and groans and mental television destruction.
Getting dressed seems counter-intuitive. You have to choose between eating or turning your house into a literal hell on Earth every time you turn on the stove. Not to mention EVERYTHING I want to do like going to the zoo or hiking, you know the stuff you’re supposed to do during the summer, I CAN’T do unless I want to risk heat-stroke. So what’s a girl to do to enjoy her summer when she lives of the surface of the sun? Well, thankfully for you, I’ve already figured it out. ;)
Clothes. Why do we even have to wear them, right? They’re just extra layers trapping in heat, but they’re a necessary evil unless you want to be arrested. I know what you’re thinking:
“I just want to find a way to not die when I go outside.”
I got you covered or in this case uncovered. Ha!
Make sure you have the essentials:
Swim Suit: This is probably definitely the most important piece(s) of clothing in your closet during the summer. Make sure it’s cute, make sure it’s flattering, make sure it’s something you wouldn’t mind wearing everyday because you just might. I know what you’re thinking, “but Mariana, I don’t have a pool, I can’t swim, I’m allergic to water!” I’m here to tell you that none of that matters. One of the beautiful things about swim suits is that they’re not just for swimming, you can also just wear them to lounge around in the house. The beautiful thing? No one can judge you because it’s not underwear, it’s a swim suit.
Light-Weight Tops: I think it goes without saying, but DO NOT wear heavy materials during the summer! Wear fabrics that breathe and don’t trap in the heat. Thankfully sheer fabrics and crochet are in pretty much every summer. Wear them over your swim suit and look ultra hot without literally being ultra hot.
Shorts: DO NOT WEAR PANTS! Yes, it’s brave of you and I understand that you live in your jeans, but don’t do it! Put on the shorts, you know those things that will let your legs breathe, the things that don’t trap in the heat like an oven! Take those pants and hide them in the very back of your closet or turn them into a pair of sweet cut-offs. You’ll thank me when you don’t feel like a roasted turkey.
Dresses: You want to know a secret? Dresses are a lazy girl’s best friend. A dress is an outfit you don’t even have to think about. You just put it on and voila, you’re done! It’s just as easy as shorts and a t-shirt. NO! Even easier than shorts and a t-shirt because you don’t have to pick out two different pieces of clothing, just one. BONUS POINTS: It looks like you spent more than two seconds to get dressed and you get all sorts of nice breezes. ;) PS: Rompers are just more fun versions of dresses.
Maxi Skirts: What do you hate most about summer? I mean, other than the extreme heat. Having to constantly shave your legs because you can’t wear pants unless you want to get heat stroke? Yeah, me too. That’s why we invented maxi skirts: the convenience of pants with the ease of skirts. Even better: Maxi Dresses, they eliminate you having to pick out a shirt and they hide your fuzzy legs. :D
Light-Weight Shoes: Maybe it’s just me, but if my feet are hot the rest of me is hot too. It’s science! I promise. That’s why having a pair of light-weight shoes is so important. They keep your feet cool and the rest of you from overheating. Flip flops and sandals are great, but if you don’t like showing off your feet just get some canvas slip-ons. TOMS pretty much go with everything.
Protection From the Sun: You know why hats are awesome? They can hide a bad hair day in seconds and they make it look like you took time to accessorize. Oh, and they keep the sun off you too. That’s a plus too. Don’t forget your sunnies either. Got to keep to harmful rays out of your eyes! Also, nail polish keeps your nails from getting sunburns. Okay, okay that’s just something I made up, but a cute manicure never hurt anyone! PS: Don’t forget to put on sunblock!
For maximum efficiency just wear your bathing suit under your clothes everyday. You’ll be ready to party ALL THE TIME!
I love to cook, you love to cook. Well, maybe you don’t like to cook, but you do like to eat. You’d eat out every night, but you’re not rich (if you are then you’re in the wrong place) and you don’t want to cook because it heats up the house. The solution: grill everything and make salads/sandwiches.
No Cooking Needed
Turkey Corn and Sun-Dried Tomato Wraps: Hell, you don’t even need the corn or the sun-dried tomato. Just get yourself some deli turkey and make yourself a nice wrap.
Quick and Easy Greek Salad: I recommend you make a HUGE batch and just eat this for a week, that’s basically what we’ve been doing over here. PS: If you can handle it boil up some orzo or some rotini and mix it in. It makes the salad more filling and it’s totally worth turning the stove on for 9 minutes.
Open Face Sandwiches: They look fancy, but don’t let that fool you these are easy-peasy. Just open up the fridge and look for stuff that needs using up and let your mind run wild!
Or basically ANY salad or sandwich! These two types of meals are the holy-grails of no-cook meals and basically an excuse to use up anything in the fridge. No need for fancy recipes!
Pro Tip: For more recipes google: “no cook meals” and pay special attention to parenting websites and mommy blogs. Those people are experts by now.
Fire Up the Grill
Because we still need our meat! Might as well cook it outside where it’s already hot.
Quick Carne Asada: Because carne asada is delicious and you can make delicious tacos or put it in your salad. OR make a carne asada sandwich/wrap or just put it on a stick and eat it. :9
Grilled Yogurt Chicken: Throw your chicken in the yogurt the night before and you’ll have something delicious to look forward to the next day.
Tony’s Steak: “Tony had taken a flank steak, marinated it forever in teriyaki sauce, and grilled it.” This Tony sounds like my kind of guy. :)
Just to Cool Off
Five-Minute Ice Cream: This is my go-to ice cream recipe. No need for an ice cream maker, just a blender and five minutes. I’d eat this for breakfast everyday if I could. And I do with french toast or crepes sometimes. MAKE IT!
Raspberry Lemonade: Sip it on the porch, by the pool, during a meal or on the couch while browsing youtube.
Frozen Hot Chocolate: You know what I miss most during the summer? Hot chocolate! Some people have coffee others have tea, I have hot chocolate. I’ve been waiting my entire life for hot chocolate to get the summer makeover ala iced coffee/iced tea. I can now say my life is complete.
Ice Cream Cake: For all of you with summer birthdays/people who love cake! No need to turn on the oven. Just melt the ice cream, throw it on a store bought sheet cake, throw in some oreos and throw it in the freezer until you’re ready to eat it!
Question time: What do you serve on the side of ice cream cake? Cupcakes? Chocolate? Fruit? More ice cream? My vote is on all of the above.
Summer is the time you’re supposed to go outdoors and do all the things that you can’t do the rest of the year. Things like hiking, fishing, going to the zoo, mountain biking all in 100-degree weather! Doesn’t that sound like fun? It’s time to get real, we don’t live somewhere with normal non-killer weather, we live on the surface of the sun and if you don’t want to get burned you probably want to stay indoors.
Board Games: Dust off your Apples to Apples skills and get your friends (or family) together for an old fashioned game night. You know, the type that don’t require a console or electricity for that matter.
Video Games: Sit down and play through all the releases you missed this year or dust off a few of your old favorites. Or, even better do all the things you can’t do right now because of all the extreme heat warnings. Catch some fish in Animal Crossing, drive around in Mario Kart, join a gang in Grand Theft Auto! The virtual world is your oyster!
DIY: Remember all those DIY projects you bookmarked/pinned throughout the year that you just never had time for? The shrinky dink necklaces, the button art and all those bracelets. Now’s the time to make them! Not into DIY? Why not? It’s fun and you get to tell people you made something really cool. Just try it. And if it turns out that you are the complete opposite of crafty at least you’ll have a new batch of funny stories.
Watch a Movie: Pop some popcorn, pop in the DVD (or more realistically select play on Netflix), it’s time to catch up of the movies you missed this year. Not a big fan of the Hollywood’s latest releases? Not a big deal, you have a hundred years of movies to choose from. Feel free to check out my movie “bucket list.”
Read a Book: Go to the library and fill up your tote with books (possibly about places that aren’t super hot) and read away this horrible season! PS: I have a list for that too!
Start a Blog/Vlog: You’re reading this so I can safely assume that you like to read blogs, why not start one yourself! They’re pretty much one of the most fun ways to express yourself. Not into writing? Why not start a youtube channel and start vlogging? It’s basically like blogging, but with video instead of text. Instead of writing a post you just talk to the camera! PS: Here’s my youtube channel if you need a little inspiration. ;)
Outdoors, But Still Inside:
Go to the Movies: You’ll have the luxury of “going outside” all while being in an air-conditioned room. Look up a list of the movies that are coming out. Summer is the time of year when the best/worst/most movies come out so you’ll always have something to choose from. PS: I’m holding out until The Dark Knight Rises come out.
Go to the Mall: A little window-shopping never hurt anyone! Just like with the movies you’re technically outside, but with air-conditioning.
Museums: If you want to take a break from seeing bad summer blockbusters and pining over every romper you see, then maybe it’s time to go somewhere with a little bit more culture. Look up a list of your state’s museums and go soak up some refinement. :P
Fine, We Can Go Outside:
Outdoor malls at night: You’ll get all the fresh air of the “great outdoors” with all the greatness of the mall!
Pool/Water Parks: Put on you swim suit and blow up your floaties, we’re going to the pool/local water park! No local pool or water park? Does your neighbor have sprinklers? Have you seen the thermometer? You’d have to be crazy to go outside unless you were going to be in the water!
ROAD TRIP: If all else fails and you’re still bored then maybe it’s time to get out of the state. There just has to be somewhere we can go! No money for a hotel? Maybe it’s time you pay a visit to your family, you know the ones who live in a place that’s at least in the 80’s.
Let’s be honest doing stuff is fun, but sometimes you just want to sit down and just not do stuff, but you still want to be more productive than you would be on the internet re-pinning cat pictures. That’s exactly why we have television. Take this time to catch up on any episodes of your favorite shows that you might have missed or start new shows! To the Netflix!
How I Met Your Mother
Avatar The Last Airbender
Other People’s Recommendations:
PS: All these shows were on Netflix at the time I wrote this post. :)
Now that you have the tools to survive this horrid season and maybe even have some fun while you wait for the temperature to go down and the real year to begin. Unless you live in a state that’s under 80, then screw you.