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30DBH Day 4 – Is That Your Real Name?

April 7, 2012

Day 04 — A blogger friend I’ve known for over five years told me she has been blogging anonymously all this time and most of what I know about her is her fantasy. My reaction to the news is…

I’m not a super private person, don’t know if you can tell. Between this blog, my vlogs and twitter I’m pretty sure the internet has a pretty accurate picture of who I am. And that’s how I like it. I WANT people to know who I am. I don’t know if this is just strictly a me thing or if it’s something that’s super prevalent in my generation, but I just really want people to know me as I am, flaws and all.

Knowing all of that about me it shouldn’t come as a shock that my reactions to being told that my “friend” was not at all how I had imagined her the past five years would be shock and bewilderment. Shock of course because that’s usually my response news like and this. You know, finding out something that you thought was about as true as the fact that the sky is blue and that chocolate is delicious is absolutely FALSE. Bewilderment because “WHY THE HECK WOULD ANYBODY LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS FOR FIVE YEARS?” How in the world did they keep their stories straight for so long?

Sure I can understand going by a screen name instead of telling people your full name, but that’s just for privacy reasons. Lying about yourself though makes no sense to me. One of the things I absolutely love about the internet is that it’s the best place to be yourself there is. You can be as nerdy, snarky, mean, happy, weird, etc. as you want to be because I can assure you that there are people out there who will be the same. If you want to act out a fantasy there’s no reason to lie to your blog readers and friends for years, just go to a role-playing forum. There are sooo many and nobody gets hurt.

I guess I just can’t understand wanting people to think you’re somebody else. If you make friends with somebody by pretending to be someone you’re not then are they really your friend? Why would you want to be friends with somebody who would only like you if you were somebody else? I want people to know as much about me because I want to know that those who like me to truly like me despite all the weird things I like or despite the fact that I’m not really the best at everything.

This would just be my first reaction of course. I’m hoping that I’d be able to give “my friend” the chance to actually get to know her  after she hopefully realized that I’d rather have a real friend with flaws, than an imaginary friend who was always strangely perfect.

30 Days of Blogging Honestly, or 30DBH as I like to call it, is a monthly project of sorts where you must answer 30 questions honestly throughout the month of April 2012. Here’s my post explaining it and here’s a list of other participants.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. April 7, 2012 10:51 am

    I think the best part in such a situation is actually getting to know the person behind the cover. 5 years is a really long time.

    When we tell the truth we don’t have to remember anything.
    But when we are lying. We need to be consistent and thus have to remember EVERYTHING.So hard to do…

    The fact that she opened up, does say much about how she values the friendship.

    • April 7, 2012 9:58 pm

      I know. I always have a hard time lying because I’m bad at remembering small details like that.

      I think so too and that’s why I hope if this actually ever happened I would be able to give the real them a chance.

  2. April 7, 2012 10:52 am

    All very appropriate questions to ask her and I imagine it would be hard to keep anything going for 5 years. Some marriages don’t even last for 5 days!

  3. bannatreasures permalink
    April 7, 2012 6:43 pm

    I like the way you blog, it’s like a wikipedia article, it has links inserted, so I can find out more hehe (gosh it’s so cool how you’re a youtuber too..)

    My favorite line has to be the last one “imaginary friend”
    The situation is rather extreme though. Perhaps it started off where the lie kept snowballing for the five years? I would hope that as she knew you longer she would realize more about you and what the relationship means to her. Great post~!

    • April 7, 2012 10:00 pm

      Thank you! I have to admit though that WordPress links like half of the things for me. :)

  4. April 7, 2012 10:29 pm

    Lovely opening entry on this subject…the internet has a pretty real portrait of me and that’s how I like it. So AMEN to that <3 How has your VEDA project been going? I can't say I follow it (I'm not much of a you-tuber or a video blogger), but I hope it hasn't overwhelmed you too badly yet! Power through, we're almost 1/3rd done with this month anyway. Ridiculous!

  5. April 10, 2012 10:21 pm

    At least in the end you are still considering whether you give that person a chance… :D

  6. Jackie Paulson permalink
    May 4, 2012 4:40 pm

    Great post and it’s nice to know that you are willing to share what you know with others openly.

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