30DBH Day 3 – Why Wait For a Piece of Paper?
Day 03 — Regardless of my current status, do I believe a person should save themself for marriage…
I don’t know how I came off on Monday’s post, but hopefully I didn’t come off as this super conservative person because I’m not. I don’t think anybody should have to save themselves for marriage… unless they absolutely want to. And even then I don’t think they should be bound by that either. People shouldn’t have to feel weird about wanting to have sex with who they’re with. Especially if it’s someone they really care about.
I say people because usually when people pose this question they’re talking about women and I just don’t think that’s fair at all. Why should the virginity of one gender be valued over the other? Why is it good for women to be inexperienced and for men to be “sex gods.” I think it’s weird that despite the fact that we’re a more sexually open generation it’s still a common thought that women just lie there and “take it.” Why can’t women be the dominant ones without being thought of as sluts? If men are encouraged to be promiscuous so that they can please their future spouse, then why aren’t women? Doesn’t it take an effort from both parties?
Then there’s the whole marriage side to the equation. I think that it’s becoming more evident that marriage really isn’t for everyone anymore. The traditional reasons (ie: women needed it for shelter/financial reasons and men needed it for a steady source of sex/someone to cook/clean) are no more. Women can work and men have (hopefully) come to the realization that cooking and cleaning aren’t just “women’s work.” Marriage isn’t even completely necessary to have a family or raise children. It’s completely fine, some people just aren’t meant to be in such long-term relationships, I know because I’m friends with some of them. Why should people have to save themselves for an institution of something that would just make them unhappy?
Even for the people who thrive on being in a monogamous relationship (me included) Marriage really is just a piece of paper. I believe that people “get married” a lot of the time before the actual ceremony. It happens when they acknowledge their love and their desire to be together forever. For some people this happens before they’re even engaged, for others it never happens (Kim Kardashian comes to mind). It’s different for everybody so why does it matter when they decide to have sex. I know that for some religions the ceremony is the moment where they become one in the eyes of their deity and that is why they chose to wait and I respect that because that is what they want.
I don’t really “condone” casual sex and sex with strangers. I think that it makes more sense to be intimate with someone you care about and since the first time seems to be such a special thing it makes sense to wait for someone special. I just feel that from what I’ve heard, having sex with random strangers usually leads to regret so people should at least think about the consequences before they do so. It’s just my humble opinion. Then again, does it really matter what a random girl on the internet thinks?
So basically, people should do what makes them the happiest and will bring them the least regrets and if they happen to wait for their wedding night, well that’s just sweet. :)
PS: I just realized that there might be some people who are doing 30DBH that I forgot to subscribe to. So if I haven’t been either liking or commenting on your blog PLEASE let me know and I’ll fix that. :)
30 Days of Blogging Honestly, or 30DBH as I like to call it, is a monthly project of sorts where you must answer 30 questions honestly throughout the month of April 2012. Here’s my post explaining it and here’s a list of other participants.